Policy Statement on Domestic Violence
Adopted by the Executive Board
March 1, 2005
The Issue
The scriptures instruct us to love one
another – to create mutually respectful relationships in which there is shared
responsibility, negotiation and fairness, trust and support, honesty and
accountability. When violence is present
in a relationship, it is a violation against the image of God in which we all
have been created. Domestic violence is
a pattern of coercive behavior that one
person uses to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner or
ex-partner.[1] This behavior includes
sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse (a form of which is economic
coercion). Specifically:
·
Sexual abuse is when the perpetrator pressures or coerces the victim to
engage in sexual acts that are unpleasant, repugnant, or painful to the
victim. Marital rape and incest continue
to be some of the most silent forms of abuse there are. Sexual abuse may involve physical force, the
threat of force, or other forms of coercion.
·
Physical abuse is the use of bodily force, such as hitting, kicking,
punching, slapping, pushing, and/or using weapons.
·
Emotional abuse can be inflicted without ever using physical
force. It is the use of words to
threaten or intimidate the victim. Often
batterers make victims more dependent upon them by isolating their victims from
family and friends. Emotional abuse
causes great damage to the soul of the victim. Economic coercion is a
tool by which the batterer controls the life of the victim by making the victim
financially dependent upon the batterer. Often victims are not allowed to work and if they
do, they are expected to give their income to their abuser. Sometimes abusers closely monitor the finances
by giving their victims an allowance, which must be accounted for down to the
penny.
Domestic violence is an
epidemic. It permeates every part of our
society; batterers and their victims can be found in every race, class,
geographical region, religious affiliation, and family configuration. Consider the following data:
·
The World Health Organization estimates that one in three women around
the world has been beaten, sexually assaulted, or otherwise abused in her
lifetime.[2] Most often, the abuser is a member of the
victim’s family.
·
Approximately 3 million women are physically abused by a husband or
boyfriend each year in the United States.[3]
·
While there are men who are abused by women, the vast majority of
victims of domestic violence are women. In addition, most violence perpetrated
by women is in self-defense and inflicts less injury than male violence.[4]
·
Immigrant women may suffer higher rates of battering than citizens
either because they come from cultures which are more accepting of domestic
violence or because they have less access to legal and social services. They
may also have less community or family support here. And they may believe that
the U.S. legal system will not protect them or that they will face deportation
if they call attention to themselves.[5]
·
Battering occurs in same-sex relationships with the same frequency as
in heterosexual relationships, though its victims may receive fewer
protections. Some states define domestic violence in a way that excludes
same-sex victims. And same-sex perpetrators can threaten to “out” their
victims.[6]
·
The North Carolina Council for Women/Domestic Violence Commission
reports that more than 44,000 new victims received services from domestic
violence shelters and programs around the state in 2003.[7]
·
Not only is domestic violence present in adult relationships;
adolescents are often engaged in violent relationships as well. Studies suggest that 1 in 5 high school girls
has been physically or sexually assaulted by a dating partner.[8]
·
Without appropriate intervention, the abuse increases both in frequency
and severity and in some cases leads to death.
On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or
boyfriends in the United States every day.[9] According to the North Carolina Coalition
Against Domestic Violence, 75 individuals were murdered in North Carolina as a
result of domestic violence in 2004.[10]
Furthermore, among the
greatest costs of domestic violence are often its silent victims – the children
who are watching. It is reported that at
least 3.3 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year, and 40
to 60% of the men who abuse women also abuse children.[11] A significant number of these children grow
up to repeat the cycle of violence in their own relationships, either as
abusers or as victims. While children,
they are at higher risk of being abused, neglected, or injured. They are also more likely to engage in
unhealthy behaviors that lead to substance abuse, food addictions, teen
pregnancy, truancy, violence at school and in the streets, and suicide.
Why People of Faith Should Care
It is
not enemies who taunt me—
I could bear that:
it is
not adversaries who deal insolently with me—
I could hide from them.
But it
is you, my equal,
my companion, my familiar friend,
With
whom I keep pleasant company.
Psalm
55:12-14a, NRSV
The psalmist expresses the
feelings of many domestic violence victims, the pain of being betrayed and
injured by a loved one.
Ephesians 5:22-24 is
sometimes used to give husbands carte blanche in how they relate to their
wives. “Wives, be subject to your husbands . . . [T]he husband is head of the
wife . . . [L]et wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.” But to
read this passage as somehow justifying spouse abuse is to wrench it completely
out of its context. The previous verse, vs. 21, calls all to “[b]e subject to
one another out of reverence for Christ.” And the verses immediately following
these instructions to wives are directed to husbands: “Husbands, love your wives
as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. . . [H]usbands should
love their wives as their own bodies. . . [L]et each one of you love his wife
as himself” (vss. 25-33). A similar passage in Colossians 3:19 is explicit:
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”[12]
We believe that as a
community of faith we are charged with bringing a message of hope and healing
to victims of domestic violence. Some
victims who would never contact law enforcement may turn to their pastor or other
church member for guidance. Churches should be sanctuaries where victims find a
safe place to speak their truths and find the support they need to become whole
again. Unfortunately, due to a lack of education about the severity of domestic
violence and the potential for serious injury or death to the victim, some
clergy have not been as responsive to this issue as they needed to be. We
confess that churches have too often ignored the physical, sexual, and
emotional violence that is perpetrated against women and children, and we
acknowledge that Scripture has too often been misused to justify, excuse, and
in some cases condone the abuse.
Likewise, churches are
called to love the batterers by holding them accountable for their
behavior. We believe batterers can
change their abusive behaviors, but we recognize that they must be the ones to
make the choice to live another way.
Victims are not responsible for their batterer’s behavior. We believe that we must take action to end
domestic violence through education, advocacy, responsible Biblical
interpretation, and theological reflection that help to clarify the messages of
Scripture and illuminate the divine call to love, life, and hope. We are committed not only to responding to
domestic violence in more appropriate ways, but to the prevention of abuse
through educating our community about healthy relationships and non-violent
behavior.
Recommendations
1. We call on pastors and
other church leaders to break the silence about domestic violence through
preaching and teaching.
2. We encourage pastors and
others providing pastoral care to be adequately trained to recognize signs of
domestic violence and to know when their intervention is appropriate and when
outside intervention is necessary.
3. We support legislation
which will help protect victims of domestic violence and their children.
Without committing ourselves to the full agenda of others, we will support
appropriate recommendations from the House Select Committee on Domestic
Violence and the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Among these proposals
are:
·
improve the options available to victims by making available more
affordable housing and increased access to child care, transportation, and job
training.
·
require training for all in the court system who deal with victims of
domestic violence and their children.
·
improve current landlord-tenant law and immigration law to protect
victims.
·
provide equal protection for all victims of domestic violence in
obtaining DV protective orders.
·
make it possible for a judge to issue a two-year protective order.
·
require mandatory sentences for repeat offenders (i.e., those convicted
of violating criminal domestic violence laws).
[1] While the term “domestic violence” is sometimes used to include child abuse and elder abuse, this policy statement will be limited to violence between intimate partners, ex-partners, and those who are in a dating relationship.
[2]Heise, L., Ellsberg, M. and Gottemoeller, M. Ending Violence Against Women. Population Reports, Series L, No. 11., December 1999.
[3]The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999.
[4] Chalk and King, eds., Violence in Families: Assessing Prevention and Treatment Programs, National Resource Council and Institute of Medicine, p. 42 (1998).
[5] Orloff, et al., “With No Place to Turn: Improving Advocacy for Battered Immigrant Women,” Family Law Quarterly, Vol. 29, No. 3, 313 (Summer 1995).
[6] Barnes, “It’s Just a Quarrel,” American Bar Association Journal, February 1998, p. 24.
[7]N.C. Council for Women/Domestic Violence Commission. Domestic Violence Statistical Report. www.nccadv.org.
[8]Jay G. Silverman, PhD; Anita Raj, PhD; Lorelei A. Mucci, MPH; and Jeanne E. Hathaway, MD, MPH, “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality,” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, No. 5, 2001.
[9]Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003.
[10]North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence. www.nccadv.org.
[11]American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family: Report of the APA Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family (1996), pp. 11, 80.
[12] Adapted from “Policy Statement on Domestic Violence,” Kentucky Council of Churches, 1990.